You've probably seen, or used, #livingmybestlife a few times on social media. It's a hashtag you'll see with a picture of someone lounging on a white sand beach somewhere or visiting a new city. What exactly do you consider living your best life? My post-breast cancer self has thought about this question from a different perspective than I once did. The 20-something year old me viewed my best life as a destination that I was striving to reach. I thought I'd be living my best life just as soon as ...
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3 Years Later
Next Saturday marks 3 years since I heard the words "It's cancer." February 17, 2015 is a day that is forever etched in my mind. I can remember every detail of that day - leaving work early, sitting on the cold leather couch, and staring at my phone waiting for 2:30. When I saw the hospital's number pop up on the screen, I wanted so badly to answer and to ignore it all at the same time. I can remember saying hello, waiting, listening, and then trying to catch my breath. I remember telling myself ...
Saying Goodbye
Saying goodbye to someone you love is hard. We all experience loss throughout our lives, sometimes it comes suddenly and other times we've seen it coming. Over the past year and a half, my family and I have had to say goodbye many times. In April of last year, my step-grandfather, Allen, passed away after a short illness. Then in November we lost Adam's grandfather. In December, we had to have my fur baby of 12 years put to sleep. Then in March, my MeeMee left us to be with Jesus. Each one of ...
Keep Your Hands on the Plow
I started this post a couple of weeks ago and never finished or published it because it got too hard and I started second guessing whether to share it or not. Then yesterday's sermon at church prompted me to revisit it. The message included John 9:62, "No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." There have been times in my life when I've struggled to keep my hands on the plow and my eyes forward. I've committed but I haven't stayed ...
Choosing Surrender
It looks like it's been nearly 5 months since my last blog post. I've thought about writing quite a few times, but honestly I've just wanted to go out and live! After spending the majority of last year inside doctor's offices and hospitals and feeling sick so much of the time, now I just want to get outside and enjoy life. Most people want to know if I'm finished with everything now, if I can put all of this behind me. With most things, I am finished. Cancer treatment is over (chemo and ...
My 1st Cancerversary
One year ago today, Adam and I sat on our couch anxiously awaiting 2:30 and the phone call - the call that would either put our minds at ease and allow us to breathe a sigh of relief, or plunge us into a new reality that was too terrifying to even consider. I'll never forget the way I felt when I heard her voice on the other end, and when she said "Unfortunately, it is cancer." It still gives me chills. All I remember about the rest of our conversation is how hard I was trying to catch my breath ...