13 Days

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer just 2 months after Adam and I got engaged, our wedding plans took an unexpected turn. A wedding date that was months away would now be here in less than 2 weeks. The story of our wedding day is one that I love to tell, a bright spot in those first few dark months of cancer. A story of undeniable faithfulness, love, and grace.

In December of 2014, after dating for a year, Adam popped the question at a tree farm in North Carolina. It had rained the entire weekend, which made for a steep and muddy climb to find a Christmas tree. Up ahead, Adam proudly announced that he’d found our tree. I kept trudging up the mountain, grabbing onto trees so I didn’t slip. When I finally made it, I found a ring dangling from a red ribbon on the tree and Adam down on one knee. I was over the moon and got started planning our wedding right away. We chose a date that would be after school was out for me but before football season – June 14, 2015.

In January, I went dress shopping and found a dress I loved at the first store, but I wasn’t ready to commit without looking a little more. We drove across town where I didn’t see anything that I liked, until the lady came to the dressing room carrying a dress from the window that she thought I should try. It was very similar to the one at the first store, and it fit almost perfectly. It was a new arrival and had only been tried on a few times, so she told me that I may want to consider just buying the sample. Perfect! Little did I know that this was just one of the ways God was helping prepare me for what was about to unfold.

 Just a few weeks later, on February 17th, I got the phone call that derailed all of our plans.

We really didn’t talk much about the wedding in those first days because honestly, at that point, I wasn’t sure that I would even get the opportunity to walk down the aisle. That was one of the most heartbreaking things for me to accept. I struggled with the thought, but I knew that I had to focus on treatment and we would figure out the rest later. The week after my diagnosis, on February 23rd, we saw my oncologist for the first time. We learned that my treatment plan would begin with chemotherapy – 8 treatments, every 2 weeks. We asked how long we could safely wait to begin chemo, in the event we decided to move the wedding up, and we were told 3 weeks. During this time though I also had to have surgery to have a port placed in my chest for chemo and begin fertility preservation.

We had a lot of decisions to make. We both knew a June wedding no longer made sense as I would be fighting through the unpredictable side effects of chemo and I would also lose my hair within 2 weeks of my first treatment. Adam was ready to be there with me every night and not have me staying alone through treatments, so we’d already discussed either moving the wedding up or having a very small ceremony now and a bigger wedding later. So much had already been planned though and postponing the wedding didn’t seem like the right choice for us. So we decided to go for it – in 13 days. We left the oncologist’s office that day and went to lunch where we spent the next couple of hours talking on the phone with vendors between bites of pizza. The new date was set – Sunday, March 8th. We had no idea how we would pull it off, but we had 13 days to finish planning a wedding!

Those next 13 days are pretty much a blur. They consisted of days teaching my second graders and driving back and forth from countless doctor’s appointments, scans, and tests. Nights were spent trying to learn about chemo, surgeries, and fertility preservation while also typing substitute plans, addressing wedding invitations, and working on all of the other wedding details that we weren’t planning on tackling until the last month or so. What song will I walk down the aisle to? What flowers do I want in my bouquet? When will my hair start falling out? What style of wig do I want?

The most wonderful part though is how God worked everything together for us in those 13 days.

ALL of our vendors were able to switch to our new date, and our entire wedding party was able to do the same. We had decided on a honeymoon and were about to book it the week before my diagnosis but thankfully had not. We had everything ready to print our invitations, but hadn’t done that yet either so we were able to change the date on them. My dress fit perfectly and needed no alterations other than a bustle. Our wedding party got their suits and dresses without any problem. The number of people who gave their time and resources when they heard our story was simply unbelievable. Our reception was catered as a gift by a dear friend. Our photography, cake, and even my hair and makeup were also generous gifts. We felt so surrounded by love in those days, and especially on our wedding day. We had planned a smaller wedding so we weren’t able to have every person there that we would’ve liked to in a perfect world, but we still felt so much love even from those who weren’t there. And those who were there had to rearrange plans and drive long distances on a Sunday to be there for us. They didn’t leave that night with a cute monogrammed favor or koozie (there was not time for that), but I hope that they did leave knowing how full of gratitude our hearts were for the sacrifices each of them had made to share that day with us.

I am constantly reminded that God’s plan and timing is always better than mine. Even though we were certain that we had our day planned out perfectly, God knew He had something even better in mind. March 8, 2015 was wonderful and so much sweeter than our original plans, not to mention about 30 degrees cooler than it would have been in June! And we got 3 “extra” months together as husband and wife!